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Why did she do it? Nobody dared to ask. Because - what courage! Who had the courage to burn herself? Twenty aspirin, a little slit alongside the veins of the arm, maybe even a bad half hour standing on a roof: We've all had those. And somewhat more dangerous things, like putting a gun in your mouth. But you put it there, you taste it, it's cold and greasy, your finger is on the trigger, and you find that a whole world lies between this moment and the moment you've been planning, when you'll pull the trigger. That world defeats you. You put the gun back in the drawer. You'll have to find another way.

What was that moment like for her? The moment she lit the match. Had she already tried roofs and guns and aspirins? Or was it just an inspiration?

I had an inspiration once. I woke up one morning and I knew that today I had to swallow fifty aspirin. It was my task: my job for the day. I lined them up on my desk and took them one by one, counting. But it's not the same as what she did. I could have stopped, at ten, or at thirty. And I could have done what I did do, which was go onto the street and faint. Fifty aspirin is a lot of aspirin, but going onto the street and fainting is like putting the gun back in the drawer.

She lit the match.

Bye @k_eade! Glad that building’s not in Thunder Bay even if it is diagonal across the city from my house. #friend #movingday #seeya #iwantdinner
Duncan and @k_eade doing there “you can’t go up there” dance. #lol #cat #friend #poorkitty #badkitty #orangetabby #kittyblur #instacat
Oh god, what is in the ceiling!!! #demon #ahh #haunted
This nutcase better not host a sumo wrestling contest on the stairs at 4am again tonight. Sleep sleep, baby kitty. Just sleep. #cat #instacat #orangetabby #crazy #loud #maniac #nutcase #cute #orange #bedtime #sleepkitty #kitty #gotosleep
I don’t think I’ll ever be warm again. #comeintothelight #freezing #socold
Homemade chili. #carbfree #food #dinner #homemade #yum #giveme
Cauiflower and cheese soup with leftover ham. #sogood #heartfarts #yum #warm #chillynight #soup #dinner #mmm #carbfree
seanakamp:

🔙🔜
Deeeees girls. #bestfriends #brisesmaids #maidofhonor #flowergirl #friendship #best #weddingparty #engaged
Us, in a nutshell— including Cam’s photobomb. #us #brisesmaids #bestfriends #friendship #lol
Best night time snack. #veggiesanddip #veggies #dip #hotpickles #hotmix #bicks #yum #snack #best #sogood